To Guard the Heart, and Let It Shine

Hello, World!

I had just joined a new project team — only in my second week — when things changed unexpectedly.

The team informed me that my pay would be reduced, gradually reaching up to 45% less in the following months. At the same time, they proposed an alternative: to issue my payment through a grey-zone method — one that would bypass certain regulations, allowing them to avoid official procedures.

I took time to consider. I tried to understand, to communicate, to negotiate.
But the conversations didn’t go well.
Some responses left me quietly hurt.

In the end, I chose to accept the pay cut.
Because deep down, I had already made a quiet decision — the kind of person I want to be.

I didn’t want to benefit by skirting systems that are meant to ensure fairness and accountability.
I didn’t want to participate in something that might look normal on the surface but felt wrong in principle.

I knew this decision would cost me.
A reduction in income. A simpler standard of living.
But I was — and still am — willing to live with that.

Not because I enjoy hardship,
but because I’ve been learning — bit by bit — how not to let the environment dictate my choices,
and how to stay rooted in who I am, even when it’s not easy.

To act with sincerity.
To stay honest.
To keep my balance, even when the ground beneath me begins to shift.

Some say: “If nothing bad happened, then what’s the risk?”

But I believe this: uncertainty is certain.

And when the unexpected arrives — because it always does —
I want to be someone who can meet it with a steady heart, knowing I didn’t cross my own line.

Not every decision has to be about winning.
Some are simply about not losing yourself.

I had just joined a new project team — only in my second week — when things changed unexpectedly. The team informed me that my pay would be reduced, gradually reaching up to 45% less in the following months. At the same time, they proposed an alternative: to issue my payment through a grey-zone method — one that would bypass certain regulations, allowing them to avoid official procedures. Expend ⬇

这I took time to consider. I tried to understand, to communicate, to negotiate. But the conversations didn’t go well. Some responses left me quietly hurt. In the end, I chose to accept the pay cut. Because deep down, I had already made a quiet decision — the kind of person I want to be. I didn’t want to benefit by skirting systems that are meant to ensure fairness and accountability. I didn’t want to participate in something that might look normal on the surface but felt wrong in principle. I knew this decision would cost me. A reduction in income. A simpler standard of living. But I was — and still am — willing to live with that. Not because I enjoy hardship, but because I’ve been learning — bit by bit — how not to let the environment dictate my choices, and how to stay rooted in who I am, even when it’s not easy. To act with sincerity. To stay honest. To keep my balance, even when the ground beneath me begins to shift. Some say: “If nothing bad happened, then what’s the risk?” But I believe this: uncertainty is certain. And when the unexpected arrives — because it always does — I want to be someone who can meet it with a steady heart, knowing I didn’t cross my own line. Not every decision has to be about winning. Some are simply about not losing yourself.

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